3-17: Armour King

With sheer cliffs on either side, the ruins floating in the river north of Blister Hill can't be accessed from the mountains. The only way there is to swim down the river. The gang has actually walked right past the river's mouth several times before; it runs off from the southeasternmost point of the Floodlands, right next to the path they've traveled any time they've gone south from Flotsam Village or vice versa.

The river's name is Wend and wend it does, snaking this way and that through the mountain gorge. Swimming it is terribly slow going. As usual, the gang matches the pace of their slowest member. They could make better time by leaving the shek (Ells and Horse) and those with prosthetic limbs (Jam, Horse, Beep) behind but that's no way to go through the world.

Four hours later, they reach the stretch of the river they saw from above ten days ago. Expecting to find another ancient armoury full of security spiders and preserved weapons, they're quite surprised to see the one non-sunken building bearing a big “TRADE” sign above the door. Climbing up to the dry part of the building's outer walkway and steadying their footing on the dramatic incline, the gang heads inside, soggy boots and all. A skeleton in heavy samurai armour emerges from the storage room at the back. The moment hangs in the air, the gang unsure what to expect—they're primed to expect violent defenders in these ancient ruins but the TRADE sign obviously alters the calculus. What they don't expect is for him to break into a cheery jingle.

There's a lot to take in all at once. The Ashlands are a mysterious land at the southeastern tip of the continent, considered nigh-impenetrable by humans and the subject of vivid mythology. Thralls are skeletons who've had their heads and free will removed, reprogrammed to serve a master.

Beep adds to the long list of questions springing to the gang's minds, evidently under the impression that he is a skeleton now that he has a skeleton arm. They're not given much of a chance to ponder those questions, though. Armour King keeps chattering away.

Armour King is quite right about how terrible of an idea it would be to fight him. His core combat stats are in the 80s nearly across the board with a 98 in Toughness. The only relatively low stat is a 22 in Dodge but with everything else so high, it hardly matters. His thralls are even stronger, boasting a colossal 104 Attack, 84 Defense, 90 Strength, 99 Dexterity, and 90 Toughness. That's the highest Attack of anything in the game. They would cut down an assailant with the greatest of ease.

Not to worry; that's all academic. The gang isn't in the habit of attacking friendly skeletons, especially not one of the very few who's actually eager to chat. Brimming with questions, Riddly is the first to take the initiative.

While frustratingly coy on some of the gang's most burning questions, Armour King gives them significantly more information about the world's history than anyone they've met so far. To sum up what we know: Skeletons date back to the First Empire (also known as the Old Empire), some unknown thousands of years ago, which was run by the people known only as the Ancients. There were also enormous Skeleton-like robots known as Behemoths back then until the Ancients killed them all in the pit of Obedience.

The Second Empire was run by skeletons about a thousand years ago. We do not know much about it yet other than what Armour King just told us but the United Cities and the Holy Nation emerged from the ashes of the Second Empire.

After peppering Armour King with questions, the gang feels it's only right to buy some of his armour. Not that they're doing so out of mere obligation; it really is the best armour in the world. Many of the pieces here are Masterwork-grade.

Keys buys herself a kusari zukin (a chainmail hood) and plated longboots. Outlaw Hana buys plated longboots, a plate jacket, and a blackened chainmail tagelmust, the latter of which she winds up giving to Ells. All of these are Masterworks. In return, the gang trades Armour King some weapons and a huge pile of the skeleton parts they found in the Leviathan Coast's ruins.

There's more they could buy here for sure but the gang is satisfied for now. What they have should be good enough to get them through the kind of fights they won't get completely out-skilled in. No need to buy out the whole stock just yet.

Armour King gets marked on the map as Drowned Ruins, a little halfway down the river Wend from its mouth in the Floodlands. From here, the gang's next immediate objective will be to return south of the holy lands to the Hub and drop off the wealth of research material they gathered in the Leviathan Coast.

In a grander sense, the gang is getting the itch to start actually doing something with all that research—to start using the technologies they've been researching to actually start building their own little town. It'll be nice to have a more permanent place than the little house they have at the Hub: A place they can rest between travels, grow their own food, even make their own weapons and armour. When they set forth from Armour King, it's this goal they have in mind.